Visualized.Feel.Abundance

Hey Folks,

I was reading a post by Armannd @ ProjectArmannd.com titled “Life essentials, kindergarten version” and he was sharing about the lessons he learned in Kindergarden. I love that post as it reminds us of some important lessons that we tend to forget in our adult life as we compete in our society for a better social or financial standing. Read it, I believe you will love it!

Kids And Their Goals
It also got me thinking about the relation between kids and goals. Do kids have goals and dreams?

I believed so. Although most of them never writes them down and even if they do write them down, it will probably be in a dairy expressing what they want and not done as a goal setting exercise.

I know a lot of their dreams are fairy tales and impractical stuffs like “Want to be [fill in their favorite superhero]” or “Want to be [fill in their favorite princess]” but they do have practical dreams, such as “Want to go to [fill in their favorite theme park]” or “Want to get [fill in their favorite toy]”. And you know what? Usually their dreams come true!

A Kids Unique Strength
So why is it that their dreams come true when they have never done any goal setting exercises such as we adults? I believed that it is because they have one quality that most adults lack:-

“Naiveness”

In their young minds, nothing is impossible. Being naive, they dare to try everything and anything. Being naive, they are not afraid to ask and pester their parents, uncles, aunties and, especially, grandparents for what they want. Being naive, they tell everyone their goals and dreams without any concern with regards to who knows about it - actually, the more people who knows about it, the better for them. Being naive, they do everything that adults won’t dream about doing and inevitably, someone from those above will fulfill their dreams.

So how does kiddish goals measure up to adult goals? Do they comply with S.M.A.R.T.? Lets See:

Specific - I know kids are very specific in what they want. They will point to that commercial on the TV and yell “That’s the one I want!” or drag you into the toy department, grab the toy they want and pull you right over to the cashier! Do you need them to be more specific?

Measurable - The only thing you really need to measure is whether you have sufficient cash in your wallet to buy whatever you were dragged into buying since you are standing at the cashier counter already.

Attainable - Since you will be the one standing at the cashier counter with the toy in one hand and your wallet in the other, I think you would be in a better position to tell me if it is attainable.

Realistic - The only realistic thing to consider is how are you going to get out of that situation if you decide not to buy it.

Time-Bound - The only concept that kids know about time is “NOW”. Nothing else matters, not yesterday, not tomorrow, only “NOW”!

So do you think little kids goals are S.M.A.R.T. enough?

Time For A Story
Let me finish this with a true story.

Once I brought my little girl Stella to Popular (a local chain of bookshop) and she wanted 3 books. I said “No, you can choose only one.” She didn’t argue and choose one book. I took the book and went about my browsing before making payment.

At the counter, the cashier totaled up the merchandise and billed me for 3 books! I asked her to clarify the total and she told me the total was for 3 books including 2 that a little girl passed to her while pointed to me and said “Daddy will pay”. I knew it was Stella as I recognized the 2 other books was Stella’s other choice so I asked her “which little girl”. She pointed to little Stella standing at the entrance of the bookshop smiling cheekily at me.

In the end, I gave in to her ingenuity and bought all 3 books for her.

I’m not sure if she had the goal in mind to get 3 books. Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t. But I believe actions speaks louder then words and so I believe that it must have been a goal she wanted in her little mind.

Cheers,
James

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Hey Folks,

We’re back from our holidays.

It was a 4 day 3 nights cruise to Penang (an island on the west coast of West Malaysia peninsula, near the Malaysia-Thailand border) and Phuket (an island on the west coast of Thailand, it was on of the place devastated by the 2004 Tsunami) on board the SuperStar Virgo Cruise Liner.

It’s was very fun and relaxing. We enjoyed lots of good food, quality time with my family and in-laws. As you folks know, I like to set goals for whatever I do. I did again for this holiday and my goals was:

“To make sure everyone enjoyed the trip”

Now you must be thinking, that goal does not comply to anything I have been teaching in my online lesson? It’s neither SMART nor Big! Am I contradicting myself? Not exactly.

Objectives - Very Short Term Goals
There are times where we set Big, Inspiring goals that are SMART and we put them in black and white. This type of goals are typically mid-term to long-term goals, not always the case but typically. Even short-term goals are typically a week to a month in duration.

But there are times where we set goals for the moment. Goals that are rather clear in idea but vague in execution (i.e. you know you want to enjoy but you are probably unsure of how you would be enjoying or what you would be enjoying). Some people refer to this type of goals as objectives. So I shall use the same term too

The truth is that everyone sets objectives (in their mind) but because this objective weren’t written down, most people loose sight of their objectives the moment they get into the action. If their action produced a result that matches their original objectives, they will be happy with their actions. But sometimes, the opposite happens and they will be unhappy with the result or the event itself.

Where Do People Set Objectives
They may set objectives when they:

- Go shopping
- Go on holiday
- Go for meals
- Go for a short study session
- Attend a Seminars
- Go for a show
- Exercise
- Do anything that may produce a result (which probably covers almost anything we do)

Have you ever been unhappy after doing any of those simple day-to-day activities above? Did you happen to end up doing something contradicting to what you started off wanting to do? I bet you do, sometimes I do too.

My Holiday As An Example
Let’s take my holiday as an example.

On this particular trip, we had 2 land excursions - one in Penang and one in Phuket. We could book a pre-planned excursion or go free and easy on our own. We decided to take their pre-planned shopping excursions for both locations.

On our shopping trip at Penang, we noticed that our girl Stella was not that excited and was grumbling towards the end of the 5 hour excursion. She said that it was all walking and not that exciting for her. It was true in a sense. I wasn’t all that excited myself. I looked around at the other kids in our group and sure enough, many were bored and some were already sleeping on their parents shoulders.

At the end of that excursion, I had to make a choice if we wanted to bring Stella along for the next excursion to Phuket as it would probably be more shopping, more walking and we are expecting spicy foods and lots of bargaining at Patong beach flea market. I had to asked myself honestly if she would enjoy such a trip and my answer is no. I asked her if she would enjoy such a trip and she said no.

So we made changes to our plan and placed her with the Cruise’s Child Care Centre for the duration of the excursion. That decision cost us a S$12 excursion ticket (it was non-refundable and we already purchased it) and an additional cost of S$72 for the stay at the Cruise’s Child Care Centre. But was it worth while? Definitely! She enjoyed herself hugely for the whole day and we had a memorable shopping spree at Patong Beach, Phuket!

On the excursion at Phuket, I saw some parents disciplining their kids who were kicking a fuss because they were bored and that probably ruin their mood on that trip for the rest of the day. I do not believed that those same people came on trip wanting to have a bad day. In all reasonable sense, they probably had the same objectives as myself. But what happened?

Remembering Your Objective And Be Flexible
I think the difference was that I remembered my objectives and was flexible enough to make changes to accommodate the situation. While those other parents either did not realize the situation they were in, did not remember their objectives or wasn’t flexible enough to make changes to cater to the changing situation. Probably a little of each factor.

It is interesting to note that there were a handful of children at the Cruise’s Child Care Centre for the duration of the excursion which means I am not alone in making that kind of arrangements. So there must have been other parents who knows their objectives well too

You Should Try It
Don’t just take my word for it, try it yourself. You will be surprised at how frequent you walk away being happier then before.

That’s all for today. There will be more post coming up and also stay tuned for Goal Setting Lesson Four.

Cheers,
James

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Hey Folks,

Blogging From Kuala Lumpur
I am now surfing from my hotel’s internet room (free 24hr surfing, phew!) and I’m going to share with you something amazing that I did and felt yesterday while on my trip from Singapore to KL (Capital of Malaysia).

Background
A little about myself before we carry on: I am basically an analytical person, fast to spot crucial details and ever so critical. It’s a good strength while conducting business, analyzing plans and spotting opportunities but when it comes to relaxation, recreation and generally having some fun, it can be a pain.

Scenario
So here’s my story: I booked a first class coach that carried only 16 passenger, travels non-stop to destination, came with a message chair, personal entertainment system and even had a butler serving meals and coffee on board. So naturally I expected to enjoy the ride but these were my actual thoughts when I board and traveled for the first 60 mins:

1) The coach wasn’t that new.
2) The engines were a bit loud.
3) The message chair wasn’t the best.
4) The selection of movies, music, games wasn’t that great.

My Goal
Naturally I was a bit disappointed. I was skipping through a couple of concert selection on their personal entertainment system when I suddenly had a thought and I told myself:

“My goal from now till the end of the coach journey is to enjoy my trip.
I will enjoy the meal that is about to be served,
I will enjoy the entertainments, enjoy sitting in the chair,
enjoy the service and be happy!”

What I Did
To achieve that I will release from myself from these following thoughts for this duration and stop:

1) Analyzing
2) Being Critical
3) Focusing On Ways To Improve (Second nature, hard to abandon even when I wanted to)
4) Maintaining A Self Image (You can’t enjoy while maintaining any image)

Instead I focus on what is:

1) Enjoyable
2) Beautiful
3) Nice
4) Memorable
5) Touching
6) Heart Warming
7) Delicious
Sweet
9) Comfortable

The Results
With that goal set and preparations done, I had the best 4 hour journey I ever had in my entire life!

- I enjoyed the meal (simple 3 dish and rice served hot), which was served by the butler.
- I thoroughly enjoyed watching the concert by Taiwan girl group S.H.E in Hong Kong. They look so gorgeous and sounded so sweet.
- I forgot about the noisy engine as I indulged in the concert.
- I got a blanket and keep myself cosy throughout the trip (I told you I threw self image out the window :P)
- I enjoy the coffee that was served at Tea Time.
- I watch a touching Japanese show called Yamato but missed the ending as we reached our destination. Very touching show.

Did I enjoy the trip in the end? ABSOLUTELY!

What Actually Happened
So what changed? Perspective.

How did I change it? I set a goal to Enjoy The Trip And Make Myself Happy.

What action did I take to achieve my goal? I removed the thoughts that was preventing me from enjoying the trip and hence be happy about it.

Was it difficult? Absolutely NOT! Once I identify the problem, it took only a second take action and throw away the unwanted thoughts.

So folks, if you ever need to enjoy yourself fully, you can follow the same process and I bet you will enjoy like you never enjoy before.

Cheers
James From KL.

PS: I could not totally throw out “Looking for ways to improve” as it has become a second nature for me. But I did minimized it to a little corner of my mind like you would minimized a window on your desktop

PSS: If you hadn’t notice by now, this is the Goal Setting Process for Practicing Gratitude

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Hey Folks,

Last night I caught a show about the real life story of a local entrepreneur, Mr Mustaq Ahmad, who runs the hugely successful retail mall Mustafa. I have a real soft spot for any stories on successful people, especially successful entrepreneurs.

The show was very short, just 30 minutes but it focus on Mr Mustaq’s childhood days and significant lessons that he learn since young. From milking cow in India to selling teh terik (milk tea with foaming bubbles) to selling textiles in his later years!

What Mr Mustaq Learned
Here are some lessons he learn as I appreciate them:

1) If the price of your merchandise is fixed by external source, sell more to increase your income.
- He learned that from a milk man collecting milk that his mum milked from their cow in India. “One rupee per bucket. You want to earn more, get me more bucket of milk” says the milk man.

2) Be honest in your business dealings.
- His father taught him that whatever he wants to do in business, he must remember to be honest. They were so honest, they even refused to pay street gangs “protection fee” (that’s 1970’s Singapore). By the way, the mall is named after his father.

3) Fixed a price that is lowest in the market for your merchandise and sell lots of it.
- In 1970’s Singapore, price haggling is probably the default mentality of consumers. They haggle over any purchases, even a cup of tea! He noticed the trend and decided that he wants to focus on selling and not price haggling. He did that by fixing a non-negotiable price that is lowest in the market for his merchandise.

4) He never gives up!
- While operating their road side stall, they were frequently harassed by street gangs and even the police (in the later years when street hawking became illegal). It was actually at this point when he got his first shop space, just 500 sq feet but he bought it - never even considering rental!

5) Treat Your Customer Well and Listen To Their Needs
- His father taught him to treat each customer with respect and he, in his later years, taught his father to listen to their customers need. He say “If they want henna (a type of hand paint), we get henna. If it proves a mistake, we learn from it.”

It was at this point the story ended and it showed how successful Mr Mustaq Ahmad has become. Click here to take a look at his website and his retail mall. The story of what happened after the first shop can be found under history on their website.

What I Learned
So why am I telling his story here? This certainly is not a paid post (maybe I should contact him to see if he is willing to advertise here :P). What I wanted to share was what I saw on the show and how it relates to the Law of Attraction and Positivity.

Mr Mustaq is a positive man. In the show (that’s all I can tell since I don’t know him personally) he has a simple objective - to make himself rich (it’s every migrants dream). He choose to focus on things he has control of (fixing the price and sell more) and ignoring the things that waste his time (price haggling).

He set a goal where Mustafa (his company) will be known as the cheapest place you can get the best merchandise and he sets out to achieve it. His action speaks louder then anything he could have said. His father was not agreeable to price fixing and even laughed at him when he started selling silk handkerchiefs at fixed price. He was mocked by customers too for the same reason but they ultimately came back to him when they found that he was the cheapest in the market!

His goal set almost 40 years ago continues to be the pillar of his business and he continues to innovate by listening to customers feedback! It is the only retail mall in Singapore to operate 24 hours and it made the news for being the first and probably the only retail mall in Singapore to sell automobiles as part of their merchandise. Customer who feels appreciated will come back to buy from you. Another good example of like attracts like.

I love his story and I hope you love it too

Love,
James

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Hey Folks,

Today I would like to share with you Stella’s (my little girl) manifestation. But before I do that, let me just recap on what she knows about the Law of Attraction and Manifestation.

Stella And “The Secret”
I remember that when we showed her the movie “The Secret“, about a year ago, the first thing she did was to wrote down what she wanted and paste it outside the main door to our house and a few weeks later, she got her wish in the form of a lucky draw!

Since then, we have always encourage her to dream and manifest and more importantly to take action to get what she wants. We observed that when she wants a particular thing bad enough, she will take action get it and she always start by asking!

Ask And You Shall Be Given (most times anyway)
For example, she wanted a balloon at a theme park but we wouldn’t get one for her. So she starts asking every stall owner where she can get one or if someone was holding a bunch of balloons, she will ask them for one. The thing is, she usually gets what she wants that way. She has gotten free drinks, extra serving of drinks, balloons, sweets, stickers, even not-for-sale items, etc

So can I say she really knows how to manifest? I still can’t say for sure. But we do know that she understands the need to ask for what she wants and what she desires. We always encourage her to dream and we encourage her to actively pursue her dreams. We always could tell if what she says she wanted was really what she desire - we look at her action.

What Makes You Take Action
Dreams come from thoughts and when you think hard enough and sufficiently, it turns into manifestation. Manifest sufficiently and you get the desire to take action and live your dream.

So by looking at what she does, we can tell how badly she wants it and if she was willing to work for it. But we still apply an acid test, we ask her to justify to us why she wants or needs whatever she was trying to get. It helps her to understand if she really needs it and to vocalize it in a logical manner. Whenever she desires something sufficiently, she can come up with a load of good reasons to justify it.

Stella And Her Manifestation
And it was such a situation that led us to 2 days of shopping and assembling her new work/play area. Take a look at these photos:

She did it again! Got a sales guy to part with his promotional stuff toy
- A cute trio of birdies (Mascot of LCD manufacturer ViewSonic).

And we didn’t even buy any LCD screens.

We started out shopping with the aim of getting kiddish (in Stella’s term, it’s anything pink!) looking. So we looked around for pink computer case and I didn’t realized how tough it was to find one, all other cases we came across was BLACK with an occasional blue, red, beige or while. Not only was pink case difficult to find, pink computer tables were non-existent (certainly not in Sim Lim Square - the famous electronic and computer hangout in Singapore). But with a little persistence, we finally found the perfect table at IKEA (our famous Swedish Furniture Mall) along with a pink chair :P. Check this out!

Now look at our girl. Totally engrossed in playing her game on her new PINK computer, at her new PINK desk and sitting on her new PINK Chair!

You can click on some of the images to look at a larger version if you want to. Did you guys notice the pink pig wrist rest and the pink pencil case on her desk (just beside the LCD)?

So that was what we got ourselves into over the weekend. We manage to attract the correct furnitures and items (a little bit of focus and some persistence does help) to make Stella’s Dream come true!

What’s The Moral Of This Story?
Sometimes we have dreams that are completely beyond our means to achieve (you can’t expect a 6 year old girl to have the resources to buy and assemble those stuff right?) but it doesn’t mean there is no hope. You can still achieve your dreams by getting your questions heard by people with the right resources or people with the right connections.

I hope you enjoyed your weekend because we sure enjoyed ours

Love,
James

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