Visualized.Feel.Abundance

Hey Folks,

Last night I caught a show about the real life story of a local entrepreneur, Mr Mustaq Ahmad, who runs the hugely successful retail mall Mustafa. I have a real soft spot for any stories on successful people, especially successful entrepreneurs.

The show was very short, just 30 minutes but it focus on Mr Mustaq’s childhood days and significant lessons that he learn since young. From milking cow in India to selling teh terik (milk tea with foaming bubbles) to selling textiles in his later years!

What Mr Mustaq Learned
Here are some lessons he learn as I appreciate them:

1) If the price of your merchandise is fixed by external source, sell more to increase your income.
- He learned that from a milk man collecting milk that his mum milked from their cow in India. “One rupee per bucket. You want to earn more, get me more bucket of milk” says the milk man.

2) Be honest in your business dealings.
- His father taught him that whatever he wants to do in business, he must remember to be honest. They were so honest, they even refused to pay street gangs “protection fee” (that’s 1970’s Singapore). By the way, the mall is named after his father.

3) Fixed a price that is lowest in the market for your merchandise and sell lots of it.
- In 1970’s Singapore, price haggling is probably the default mentality of consumers. They haggle over any purchases, even a cup of tea! He noticed the trend and decided that he wants to focus on selling and not price haggling. He did that by fixing a non-negotiable price that is lowest in the market for his merchandise.

4) He never gives up!
- While operating their road side stall, they were frequently harassed by street gangs and even the police (in the later years when street hawking became illegal). It was actually at this point when he got his first shop space, just 500 sq feet but he bought it - never even considering rental!

5) Treat Your Customer Well and Listen To Their Needs
- His father taught him to treat each customer with respect and he, in his later years, taught his father to listen to their customers need. He say “If they want henna (a type of hand paint), we get henna. If it proves a mistake, we learn from it.”

It was at this point the story ended and it showed how successful Mr Mustaq Ahmad has become. Click here to take a look at his website and his retail mall. The story of what happened after the first shop can be found under history on their website.

What I Learned
So why am I telling his story here? This certainly is not a paid post (maybe I should contact him to see if he is willing to advertise here :P). What I wanted to share was what I saw on the show and how it relates to the Law of Attraction and Positivity.

Mr Mustaq is a positive man. In the show (that’s all I can tell since I don’t know him personally) he has a simple objective - to make himself rich (it’s every migrants dream). He choose to focus on things he has control of (fixing the price and sell more) and ignoring the things that waste his time (price haggling).

He set a goal where Mustafa (his company) will be known as the cheapest place you can get the best merchandise and he sets out to achieve it. His action speaks louder then anything he could have said. His father was not agreeable to price fixing and even laughed at him when he started selling silk handkerchiefs at fixed price. He was mocked by customers too for the same reason but they ultimately came back to him when they found that he was the cheapest in the market!

His goal set almost 40 years ago continues to be the pillar of his business and he continues to innovate by listening to customers feedback! It is the only retail mall in Singapore to operate 24 hours and it made the news for being the first and probably the only retail mall in Singapore to sell automobiles as part of their merchandise. Customer who feels appreciated will come back to buy from you. Another good example of like attracts like.

I love his story and I hope you love it too

Love,
James

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Hey Folks,

Today I will talk about something that has been talked about countless of times but I will talk about it again based on my perspective of the subject and the subject for today’s post is the Law of Attraction.

There are many explanations or definitions for The Law of Attraction, from Quantum Physics point of view to New Age movement to New Thought philosophy. I shall offer my view of what Law of Attraction means to me, how it works and why it works the way it works.

My Definition Of The Law Of Attraction
To me, the Law of Attraction is nothing but the reflection of ourselves! Yes, you heard me right the first time. The Law of Attraction is nothing but a reflection of ourselves. What you think, you become. It is without prejudice and it does not know the difference between a positive and a negative thought. It reflects what you are thinking and helps you attract whatever you are doing.

That is why people with an abundance mindset always seemed to able to find solutions to a problem or get good deals where none seems to exist. While people with limiting beliefs always seemed to find more problems and get no opportunities at all! Same situations with different thoughts and they get different results!

Testing My Definition
You can test out this theory anytime you like and it will work every time. I like to use driving as an example. When I am in a happy mood with ample time to take a relaxing drive to my appointment, I will tend to focus on positive things I encounter on the road. I will spot drivers signaling before changing lanes, I will tend to give way willingly and be happy about it, I will keep within the speed limit and stay off the overtaking lane. In general, I will find everything enjoyable about driving.

When I am in a bad mood and especially when I am running late. I tend to curse all the way to my destination about inconsiderate drivers hogging the overtaking lane. Why? Because I am trying to overtake on that lane too while driving at excessive speed sometimes. I get even more frustrated as I focus on little things that gets me frustrated. Oh and I won’t even notice that 70% of the other road users were nice that day.

Go ahead and try it but it may be a good idea to bring a neutral party along (preferably someone who is close to you), they tend to see the difference clearly. Karen (my wife) is usually my mirror in all these situations.

Practicing The Law Of Attraction
There you go. No complicated explanations, just simple observations that even my grandpa will understand. So if you want to apply the Law of Attraction in the positive way to get a better life, here is how you can do it in 3 simple, yet practical steps:

Step 1: Understanding Your Thoughts
Before you decide that you want to change, you must at least know from who you are changing from. I cannot decide for you what you need to change, you will have to look inwards, sort them out, discard what you don’t want and keep those that you want. Then look at your “new self” again and decide if that is what you want.

For me, thoughts that I had decided to throw away are:

- Procrastination
- Laziness
- Shyness
- Arrogance
- Fear of Failure

Now decide if there is any beneficial thoughts that you are lacking that you want to have. Add them in your “new self”. For me, I have added:

- Responsibility
- Gratitude
- Perseverance

Review your “new self” again. If you like what you see, write the qualities of your “new self” down on a piece of paper, a reminder card, your vision board or anything that you can easily and conveniently remind yourself with.

Step 2: Change Your Thoughts
Now that you have decided the new qualities you would like to have in your “new self”, you need to let your new thoughts grow its roots while you weed out those thoughts you want to throw away. The first thing you need to do is to believe in yourself and believe that you can change for the better.

Next write down a list of actions/habits that would overcome those thoughts you decided to throw away and a list of actions/habits associated with those new beneficial thoughts that you would like to gain. Here’s my example:

Habits To Overcome (Thrown Away Thoughts)
- Just Do It (Procrastination)
- Do It Now (Laziness)
- Just Asked, No One Is Going To Eat You (Shyness)
- Empty Your Cup And Learn (Arrogance)
- Gain Knowledge And Just Do It (Fear of Failure)

Habits To Inculcate (For Thoughts Gained)
- Don’t Blame Anyone But Yourself (Responsibility)
- Be Thankful For Every Little Thing (Gratitude)
- If You Start, Don’t Stop (Perseverance)

Done writing them down like mine? Great! Now erase the bad thoughts (first section, in brackets) away leaving only the habits portion! It should look like this now:

Habits To Overcome
- Just Do It
- Do It Now
- Just Asked, No One Is Going To Eat You
- Empty Your Cup And Learn
- Gain Knowledge And Just Do It

Habits To Inculcate (For Thoughts Gained)
- Don’t Blame Anyone But Yourself (Responsibility)
- Be Thankful For Every Little Thing (Gratitude)
- If You Start, Don’t Stop (Perseverance)

Now you have to focus on drilling in your new habits. To do this effectively, you need to remind yourself that this are the habits you want, consciously, by reading what you have written daily. Reward yourself when you followed your new habits successfully - this actually strokes your sub-conscious mind and reprograms it to accept your new thoughts/habits.

Notice that we never even mentioned anything about bad thoughts? We only focus on the good habits that can overcome the bad thoughts. Why is that so? Because you don’t want to be reminded of the bad thoughts and in the process attracting them back again!

Step 3: Follow Your Thoughts
I have been told that it takes about 28 days to change one thought (completely) so does it mean that you need to change one thought at a time? I am not sure because I did it all at once. What I am sure is that you need to at least follow your new habits, keep track of your progress for at least 30 days, probably more. But once you cross that imaginary line where your new habits take hold. You will be surprise at the benefits it brings.

I believed that you have heard of the phrase “Birds of a feather flock together”. That’s what will happen once you are transformed, you will start to notice that you get to know more people with similar thoughts. If you got rid of procrastination, those “friends” that procrastinate will drift away from you and you get to attract new friends that are oriented towards taking action. The more you attract, the more you are motivated to do whatever is in line with your thoughts.

Summary
By now some of you may be asking “I thought this was about using Law of Attraction to attract things that I want?”, well, that is where most people got it wrong! Many believers of “Law of Attraction” just sit around trying to manifest their dreams. When their dreams are small and only requires a shift in focus to achieve, it comes true. But when the dream is beyond their current capabilities to attain, it will never come true no matter how hard they manifest. This is especially true when they have some limiting thoughts. Then they start to assign blame.

The natural path of “Law of Attraction” begins with changing yourself. When you are properly geared towards achieving success, even the sky won’t be a limit. This is my way of applying “Law of Attraction” practically. It is that simple and it has been around for ages!

I believe each human being has the potential to change,
to transform one’s own attitude, no matter how difficult the situation.
- 14th Dalai Lama

I believed that everyone can change and be successful if he allows himself to be. Nothing I say or do will have any effect until you are ready to receive. If you are ready, the way is open. Do leave me a comment to share your thoughts.

Love,
James

If you have benefited from the post, you could help us spread the word by stumbling, vote, digg or social bookmark it! Good things are meant to be shared not kept! I told you I got rid of being shy right!

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The greatest weapon against stress
is our ability to choose one thought over another.
-William James

Understand this - if you don’t change the way you work or improve your skills in stress management, it does not matter how many jobs you change, you will end up in same cycle again. In a way, you are attracting the stresses you are experiencing at work with the way your handle your assignments, colleagues and bosses.

Let us take a look at what are the sources of stress at work:

Assignments
Assignments are whatever task that is assigned to you by your boss and sometimes by higher management (anyone above your boss). You need to get this concept right. Only jobs assigned by your boss - yes, the fellow that does your appraisal - and by higher management counts as your assignment (since they matter to your boss) and NOT those from colleagues, other department, clients, suppliers, etc.

Assignments are stressful, even when we define it in such a narrow scope because they can be unending. You finished one and get another two! You finish two and get another four! So accept it. In a way, you may have attracted it by being too efficient. Be proud of it, don’t get stressed over it. But you need to do something to manage it. We will talk about it later.

Noises
Noises are any task that are not assignments! But they look just like assignments to your and the fellow who assigns them usually make a hell of a lot of noise if you don’t comply!

Commonly:
- Your colleagues asking a favor
- A colleague from another department demanding that you finished their task first even when the dateline is 2 months away
- You client demanding for a certain report/listing that you never heard of
- Your company’s dance society asking you to join them for practice for a upcoming dinner and dance

Well, you get the drift! In general, anything not stated as part of your Key Performance Indicator (KPI) as defined to you by your boss are noises. They can stress the hell out of you because you tend to do them first because they make noise consistently around you and won’t stop until you are done with them. But IF you comply, you end up having no time to do what you really needed to do. Now you are doubly stressed. And since they got you to do it once, you can be sure they will be back for more. See, you attracted it.

Need It Yesterday
Another huge factor of stress at work place is the date lines given for the task assigned. I call it the “Need It Yesterday” Syndrome. It typically goes like this, “James, I need this piece of assignment done, NOW! Actually I need it yesterday but now it is really urgent so get it on my desk in an hours time.” Sounds familiar? I bet you do.

Feeling Responsible
This last one is the difference between being stressed and not knowing what stress is. Responsible people feel more stress than people who don’t take responsibility. So what am I preaching now? Don’t be responsible? Hardly. You just need to know what you are responsible for and the answer is, Not Everything!

So I have listed 4 things that contributes to stress at work. So how do we manage them and make working an enjoyable experience? Well, maybe not totally enjoyable but definitely less stressful.

Knowing What Is Important To Your Boss
Most people know that working smart is better then working hard but how do you work smart? To me work smart is working on things that counts towards your goal. Your goal at work is, of course, getting a good appraisal that will result in a good pay increment and a promotion! So what you need to focus on are assignments that counts, such as those we defined earlier on.

Focus on assignments that counts towards your KPI. If an assignment is not listed as part of your KPI but your boss insist that it is important, get him to include it into your KPI so they count! If you have to do the work anyway, make them count! Oh, if you boss never set any KPI for you, you are in deeper trouble then you will ever know. Since you have nothing to measure your performance against, you WILL NEVER get a fair appraisal.

But the most important factor here is to know what IS really important to your boss! Find out which assignment matters most to your boss and put your heart and soul to it. You must have heard of those cases where a boss promotes and all his underlings promote together with him, right? That’s what you are aiming to do here. The trick is to ASK him what is important, never assume or second guess!

Eliminate Noise
As defined earlier, any assignments from people who could not possibly appraise you or affect your appraisal in any way are noises. Entertained where necessary and more importantly when you are free to do so.

Noises from supplier and clients are a little trickier. It is a common practice for clients to sometimes ask for anything under the sky, especially at the clerk-to-clerk or executive-to-executive level. Some are routine request that are completely within the contractual obligation for you to provide (your boss would have told you so), but very often they are not! The best way is to ask your boss if you should comply with an incoming request from clients or supplier. Let him decide so that you only do what is necessary and your boss gets to be responsible for all the “NO’s” to the clients and suppliers.

Get Your Responsibility Right
Remember your goal at work is to get a good a good appraisal that will result in a good pay increment and a promotion! So your responsibility is to yourself and to your boss. When you get your responsibility right, you would not feel responsible to noises or feel obliged to respond to them.

Managing Boss’s Expectations
Last but not least, what if your boss is the one that is stressing you out with too much assignments? You manage him, of course! The simplest way is to inform him of your current work load to make him aware of what you have on hand and the estimate time of completion. If you need more time then was scheduled, tell him so and explain the reasons.

When he assigns new task to you, ask him of the importance of the task. If it is real important, ask him which other current task would he like to knock off the schedule? If you let him do the talking and he will convince himself of the new schedule. You won’t even have to provide a reason for shifting any dateline, if he is reasonable.

Oh, for unreasonable bosses that never rewards their staffs, do yourself a favor and change them. They are not worth your effort and you will never meet your goal at work. This is just being responsible to yourself!

So there you have it. 4 factors of stress and 4 simple ways to manage them. It’s your turn to talk

Cheers,
James

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“In The Long Run We Shape Our Lives And We Shape Ourselves …
And The Choices We Make Are Ultimately Our Own Responsibility”
- Eleanor Roosevelt (wife of President Franklin Roosevelt)

Listed here are 10 things that no one can take responsibility for me except myself and by extension no one can take responsibility for you except yourself. This are my personal opinions drawn from my own experience and what I observed. There is no right or wrong, only whether it applies to your or not.

Attitude
You attitude determines how you interpret the events you encounter, the things your perceive and experience you gain in life. Hence, it directly affects the decisions and actions you take as a result. A positive attitude will allow you to see opportunities in adverse situations, while learning and growing stronger with the experience gained. A negative attitude will blind you from all opportunities around you while you focus on the tiniest problem. See the difference? You are responsible for choosing the attitude you take in life. Choose wisely.

Career
Someone once told me “Your career is yours to wrack”! Somber thought. What that fellow was trying to say was no one is out to ruin your career and you are solely responsible for making your career fly high or dive for a crash. You can choose to work hard or work smart or not to work at all. If you are drowning in your assignments but somehow your bosses keep piling work onto you. It is your responsibility to sound them out and decline more assignments. So far as I know, people lose jobs from a bad job done but none from declining an assignment. Think about it.

Dreams
Your dream is just that, your dream. It is not your colleagues dream, not your buddies dream and certainly not my dream. So if you want to realize your dream. Take responsibility for it, work on it and make it happen. If not, it will remain just that, a dream.

Fitness
My fitness instructor once told my platoon, if you want to pass your fitness test, you have to run. Watching your buddies run ain’t gonna help you pass. He will pass, not you. So quit watching and start running. If you want to pass, you follow my orders. I say run, you run and don’t think about stopping until I order so. And so I run and I pass! You think my instructor was responsible? Nope. He was there to do a job and his job was to make us run by motivation, coercion or any methods that will get us to run our guts out. But it is up to us, those who wanted to pass anyway, to run like hell and bring our fitness up to pass the test. If I had ran half heartedly, I doubt that I would have passed.

Health
I admit, I have to admit. I know I am responsible but I just cannot keep my hands off that fried chicken, especially Kentucky Fried Chicken. I love them. But I try to minimize consumption. I cut down from 3 pieces to 2 pieces per meal if I do indulge in them. I still enjoy them but I need to balance them with my health concerns. No one can take care of my health except myself. Just as your health is your responsibility, my health is mine to care for.

Life
Life is a journey that many people accompanied us in. Our early days are defined by what our parents and teachers taught but most people get to choose when they reach their teens and certainly have the right to choose during adulthood. You choose what you will be, could be or want to be. You can choose to be a servant of god or a slave to money or a motivation for youth or a no body slumping at a corner under the bridge. You have a choice, be responsible to yourself.

Money
Really? Do we have to be responsible here? It is our money and we can do as we wish right? I thought so until I learn that there are people who spent beyond their means. They earn $5,000 a month but spend $8000 on credit, earn another $5000 next month, pay off $5000 on credit, roll over the $3000 balance and chalk up another $5000 on credit …. and before they know it, they have reached their spending limit and have a hard time repaying just the interest! Young adults have gone bankrupt this way and there is a trend that is getting some economist seriously worried. So do you think you need to be responsible for your money?

Self Improvement
Like it or not, we are in the new economy. Company loyalty is a thing of the past, secure permanent jobs are as secure as the companies bottom line is healthy and yearly increments that employees use to enjoy in the 80s and 90s are a thing of the past. In this new economy, your increment/pay package depends hugely on the sales you can generate for your company or the perceived value you create for your company. If you don’t invest in your self improvement, you will find that your value diminishes over time and you may get to see the door sooner than you ever thought possible.

Safety
Cats are said to have 9 lives but humans commonly have only 1. But I frequently witness pedestrian jay walk with such recklessness that you thought they were daring the vehicles not to stop. Well partly, our laws here are to be blame as it penalize drivers rather than pedestrians. But I thought the pedestrians would have cherished their lives and be on the lookout for oncoming vehicles. The drivers may lose their driving license but they may lose their life. Or worst, be permanently disable, wheelchair bound or bed ridden for life. Surely that justifies the effort required just to check for oncoming vehicle and delay crossing the road for a couple of minutes right?

Time
Everyone of us are blessed with 24 hours or 1440 minutes or 86400 seconds a day. We could either waste them or make them useful. If we spend the time doing things in line with our goals and dreams, we are being responsible and making full use of our time. If we spend them doing thing that do not have an impact on our life, it is just wasted time. If taking 3 hours extra sleep a week means you are resting in preparation for a longer journey, it is not a waste. If you are running errands on someone else behalf that rip no benefits to your goal or dream. It would be considered a waste.

There you go. I have listed them and what do you think? Agree or not, do share with us. Or if you have other things you think should be included, share them too. It’s your turn to talk.

Love,
James

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Hey Folks,

It’s been slightly more then 2 months since I wrote my first post on the “9 Secret Steps To Life Transformation” series. It started with the simple vision that I wanted to pen down my success formula that I had put together through years of trial and error at my own cost. I wanted to share it with you and others like you who are interested to help yourself, which is probably why you are sitting here reading this blog.

I believed that abundance starts with giving and sharing. By sharing this gift, I believed that I will attract more into my life. More experience to gain, more positive people to meet, more things to learn and a more fulfilling life.

It is also my hope that my 9 steps has helped at least some of you in some ways. If it did, thank you. I thank you because, you made my sharing valuable and meaningful. If it had help no one or motivated none, it would have been futile. So, Thank You from the bottom of my heart.

If you have benefited from this series, I welcome you to leave a note or comment here. If you have any suggestion for me to improve, you may leave it here too

Before I sign off this post, here is a summary of all the post in the series for your easy reference:

Step 1 - Take Back Your Full Responsibility
Take Back Your Full Responsibility
Story 1 (Part 1)
Story 1 (Part 2)

Step 2 - Show Your Gratitude
Show Gratitude To What You Have
Karen’s Story On Gratitude
A Technique To Give Gratitude

Step 3 - Find Your Dreams
Find Your Dreams
The Ladder Of Dreams

Step 4 - Visualize Your Dreams
Visualize Your Dreams
8 Steps Visualization Technique

Step 5 - Feel Your Dreams
How To Keep Your Dreams Alive (Part 1)
How To Keep Your Dreams Alive (Part 2)
How To Keep Your Dreams Alive (Part 3)
How To Keep Your Dreams Alive (Part 4)

Step 6 - Take Action
The Unspoken Secret Of “The Secret” Movie
Take Action
Do You Procrastinate
Bury The Procrastination Monster

Step 7 - Feel The Abundance
Do You Have Limiting Beliefs
Knowledge Creates Abundance
Karen Lim’s Abundance At Work

Step 8 - Stay On Course
Stay On Course
Learning From Steve Jobs

Step 9 - Study Your Reflection
Study Your Reflections
Study A Successful Refection
How To Choose The Right Mentor

Love,
James

PS: I came across this site telling this touching story about making a difference and it describe how I feel when I know I had made a difference. Enjoy - http://www.makeadifferencemovie.com/  (We are not related to the site but I love the story)

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