Visualized.Feel.Abundance

Hey Folks,

Welcome back to Positive Articles Day. We are now at Volume 3 and today I will be sharing 2 different articles from 2 Blogs.

I literally stumbled across the first article while surfing at Stumbleupon.com last week. It is titled “18 Ways to Stay Focused at Work” by Dave Cheong over at davecheong.com. I don’t know Dave personally, I just found his articles interesting and valuable to share with you, my readers. He describes himself as “Software Engineer’s journey to Entrepreneurship”.

In this article, Dave shares 18 ways that could help you focus at work. Some of them are similar to what I have mentioned previously in my article “7 Tips To Improve Your Work Efficiency By More Than 100%“.

I find Dave’s articles to be well thought out and he goes straight to the point. He gives tips that are simple to understand and apply. I have some experience with most of the tips he mentioned in this article and I can safely say that they do work! Especially listening to the right type of music and remember to make your work fun. So take some time, head on over and read it. I promise you won’t regret it.

I found the second article in much the same way as the first, via Stumbleupon.com and it is titled “Fix the Problem, Don’t Just Put Up With It” by Beth over at MySimpleLife. Beth describes herself as a charter certified Family Manager Coach and you get read more about her here.

In this article, Beth explains that there are a kind of problem that we tend to put up with instead of solving them once and for all. She give a simple 5 steps process to deal with them. Again, 5 very simple steps that none of us should have problem following. Head on over and take a look, it’s a short article but I think you will find it very beneficial too.

I like this article as I have a similar problem of this nature too - I keep forgetting where I parked my car within my own condominium! It was the fact that it was nothing major and not a life threatening problem that I have never found any need to address it but occasionally, when I am in a hurry, it could make me very frustrated as I rush between different levels of my car park to locate my car. Do you have a similar kind of problem too?

Enjoy the articles and cya next week!

Love,
James

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Hey Folks,

In yesterdays post, We mentioned that there will be a post every Tuesday where we will share good post from other bloggers. Our objective is to look for articles relating to positivity, tips or suggestions to help our daily life or in simple terms, anything that we feel would benefit you. We will also write a short blog intro about the blog where the article came from.

Today we have only one article to share but I love it, it is simple to apply and the benefits goes a long way and you don’t need to be a genius to figure that it will work. The post is called “Nine extremely simple and easy tips to take stress out of your day“. It outlines a basic principle that we could, and should, take care of little non urgent task in our life so that that it won’t become an urgent task at the worst possible moment. That is what causes unnecessary stress in our life!

The principle outline in it is, well, nothing new and we had probably heard out mum nag about doing this and that since our childhood days! But as we grow older and had more “important” tasks to accomplished daily, we forgot about this little habit that , if practice regularly, could seriously reduce a lot of stress!

Think about it, if we had done some of what Gretchen mentioned, such as “Put your keys away in the same place every day”, we would not be running around the house hunting down that pair of key when you are running late for work! I could think of hundreds of little non-urgent things that could get back at us at the worst possible moment, such as:

1) Check your household essentials so you won’t run out of Toilet paper!
2) Check your grocery stockpile so you won’t run out of milk, coffee or tea at the last moment.
3) Make it a habit to close the window when you get out of the house, even if it is for a short while, so you won’t worry about rain.
4) Always pay your bill when it arrives so you will never miss the dateline.
5) Get your office documents needed for morning meeting ready before leaving office on the previous day.
6) Type out your minutes of meeting the moment you leave the meeting; to list a few.

I hope this article and some of my little additions had benefited you. If you like it, leave a comment to let me know. So at least I know that I am heading in the right direction

Now, a little about the author. This article was written by a beautiful lady name Gretchen who runs a blog called “The Happiness Project” where she shares her experience to live in happiness! I love her weekly post on Wednesday where she share simple tips such as the one I just shared.

Till next Tuesday. Stay Positive

Love,
James

If you have benefited from the post, you could help us spread the word by stumbling, vote, digg or social bookmark it! Good things are meant to be shared not kept!

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The greatest weapon against stress
is our ability to choose one thought over another.
-William James

Understand this - if you don’t change the way you work or improve your skills in stress management, it does not matter how many jobs you change, you will end up in same cycle again. In a way, you are attracting the stresses you are experiencing at work with the way your handle your assignments, colleagues and bosses.

Let us take a look at what are the sources of stress at work:

Assignments
Assignments are whatever task that is assigned to you by your boss and sometimes by higher management (anyone above your boss). You need to get this concept right. Only jobs assigned by your boss - yes, the fellow that does your appraisal - and by higher management counts as your assignment (since they matter to your boss) and NOT those from colleagues, other department, clients, suppliers, etc.

Assignments are stressful, even when we define it in such a narrow scope because they can be unending. You finished one and get another two! You finish two and get another four! So accept it. In a way, you may have attracted it by being too efficient. Be proud of it, don’t get stressed over it. But you need to do something to manage it. We will talk about it later.

Noises
Noises are any task that are not assignments! But they look just like assignments to your and the fellow who assigns them usually make a hell of a lot of noise if you don’t comply!

Commonly:
- Your colleagues asking a favor
- A colleague from another department demanding that you finished their task first even when the dateline is 2 months away
- You client demanding for a certain report/listing that you never heard of
- Your company’s dance society asking you to join them for practice for a upcoming dinner and dance

Well, you get the drift! In general, anything not stated as part of your Key Performance Indicator (KPI) as defined to you by your boss are noises. They can stress the hell out of you because you tend to do them first because they make noise consistently around you and won’t stop until you are done with them. But IF you comply, you end up having no time to do what you really needed to do. Now you are doubly stressed. And since they got you to do it once, you can be sure they will be back for more. See, you attracted it.

Need It Yesterday
Another huge factor of stress at work place is the date lines given for the task assigned. I call it the “Need It Yesterday” Syndrome. It typically goes like this, “James, I need this piece of assignment done, NOW! Actually I need it yesterday but now it is really urgent so get it on my desk in an hours time.” Sounds familiar? I bet you do.

Feeling Responsible
This last one is the difference between being stressed and not knowing what stress is. Responsible people feel more stress than people who don’t take responsibility. So what am I preaching now? Don’t be responsible? Hardly. You just need to know what you are responsible for and the answer is, Not Everything!

So I have listed 4 things that contributes to stress at work. So how do we manage them and make working an enjoyable experience? Well, maybe not totally enjoyable but definitely less stressful.

Knowing What Is Important To Your Boss
Most people know that working smart is better then working hard but how do you work smart? To me work smart is working on things that counts towards your goal. Your goal at work is, of course, getting a good appraisal that will result in a good pay increment and a promotion! So what you need to focus on are assignments that counts, such as those we defined earlier on.

Focus on assignments that counts towards your KPI. If an assignment is not listed as part of your KPI but your boss insist that it is important, get him to include it into your KPI so they count! If you have to do the work anyway, make them count! Oh, if you boss never set any KPI for you, you are in deeper trouble then you will ever know. Since you have nothing to measure your performance against, you WILL NEVER get a fair appraisal.

But the most important factor here is to know what IS really important to your boss! Find out which assignment matters most to your boss and put your heart and soul to it. You must have heard of those cases where a boss promotes and all his underlings promote together with him, right? That’s what you are aiming to do here. The trick is to ASK him what is important, never assume or second guess!

Eliminate Noise
As defined earlier, any assignments from people who could not possibly appraise you or affect your appraisal in any way are noises. Entertained where necessary and more importantly when you are free to do so.

Noises from supplier and clients are a little trickier. It is a common practice for clients to sometimes ask for anything under the sky, especially at the clerk-to-clerk or executive-to-executive level. Some are routine request that are completely within the contractual obligation for you to provide (your boss would have told you so), but very often they are not! The best way is to ask your boss if you should comply with an incoming request from clients or supplier. Let him decide so that you only do what is necessary and your boss gets to be responsible for all the “NO’s” to the clients and suppliers.

Get Your Responsibility Right
Remember your goal at work is to get a good a good appraisal that will result in a good pay increment and a promotion! So your responsibility is to yourself and to your boss. When you get your responsibility right, you would not feel responsible to noises or feel obliged to respond to them.

Managing Boss’s Expectations
Last but not least, what if your boss is the one that is stressing you out with too much assignments? You manage him, of course! The simplest way is to inform him of your current work load to make him aware of what you have on hand and the estimate time of completion. If you need more time then was scheduled, tell him so and explain the reasons.

When he assigns new task to you, ask him of the importance of the task. If it is real important, ask him which other current task would he like to knock off the schedule? If you let him do the talking and he will convince himself of the new schedule. You won’t even have to provide a reason for shifting any dateline, if he is reasonable.

Oh, for unreasonable bosses that never rewards their staffs, do yourself a favor and change them. They are not worth your effort and you will never meet your goal at work. This is just being responsible to yourself!

So there you have it. 4 factors of stress and 4 simple ways to manage them. It’s your turn to talk

Cheers,
James

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Hi Folks,

I know today I am late in my post and I could have published on of my pre-written articles or the new sharing series (it will now be published on Sunday) for today but I decided I would share my first hand experience in stress management today.

Today I had to visit the dentist and it took 8 hours from the time I step into the clinic till I got out and it wasn’t about my tooth. It was my daughter, she had a bad toothache plus a dose of fever due to the infection around the left bottom molar.

Since it was a last minute thing and we had no appointment, so we had to wait for an available slot. It was a 2 hour wait from 10.30am and I had to endure Stella’s nagging on when it’s her turn! I know she is irritated due to the pain in her tooth and a slight fever so I patiently explained the concept of appointment and that since we came without an appointment we had to wait. She said “OK but when is my turn?”

This is the beginning of my stress. I can take questions but I cannot stand nagging. Especially one that I cannot shut out quite that easily. So I quietly wish for our turn, so we can get the problem tooth extracted and done with it! Here’s what I apply to manage the low level stress:

• Regulate My Breathing
• Ignore The Irritation (Which means I ignore Stella’s complain!)

When it was her turn, the dentist gave a preliminary checkup and ask Stella to take an Mouth Cavity X-Ray. During the X-Ray, he explained that based on his experience, it is likely that there is tooth decay from within the molar. Maybe even 2 of them so it may be more complicated than a simple tooth extraction.

I thought “Oh Dear! Lets hope for the best!”. But now I had skipped my lunch and had to worry about the result of the X-Ray. It is at this moment that, negative thoughts invaded ….. “What if Stella needs to extract 2 teeth, can she handle the pain” … “Will it be to traumatizing for Stella” … “What if it cannot be extracted but need more complicated procedure” … etc. I guess you know where that is heading. I am frightening myself ….. fortunately for me, it lasted all of 3 minutes. After which I consciously banished the negative thoughts that is starting to frighten me. Here’s what I apply to manage these low-to-medium level stress:

• Regulate My Breathing
• Remind Myself That What I Think Will Not Alter The Results Now

The next time we saw the dentist was an hour later. That is when he confirmed that 2 of Stella’s teeth is decaying from the inside due to a penetration from between the side of the 2 teeth. I had to make a decision after consultation on whether I would like to

1. Extract one and patch up the other (Traumatic to the child but cleanest. However, cosmetic issues will arise later. This is a long story)
2. Just clean the in between (Not recommended as it is just delaying option 1 and 2)
3. Do a root canal procedure to settle the problem (Recommended as it preserves the 2 teeth and prevent any cosmetic issue. Less traumatic but the procedure is lengthly)

Here comes the headache and some moderate stress. I love this dentist, he always gives all the options and tells me everything I need to know. I hate this dentist, he never gives me a firm recommendation. But since I had accepted 100% responsibility of my life, I had to live with it. I chose option (3) after consulting with Stella. Oh, she’s 6 years old only but she decision making process is already like an adult.

After another 1 hour wait, it was Stella’s turn and I went in with her for the procedure. I can tell you this is where the REAL stress kicks in. To stand there watching holes drilled into her molars and getting the inside cleaned out. To hear the whines of the machinery, to hear squirms and cries from Stella due to the pain (yes, still rather painful even after local anesthetics, her gums were still partially inflamed), to see the tears running down her eyes, to see all that and all I could do was hold her hands and say “It’s all right Stella! You are a brave girl! Just a little while longer! Doctor is pulling the little worms out now!“.

It’s the helplessness, the inability to do anything to help that frustrates me and adds to the stress that was building up. I had to constantly remind myself that Stella is in good hands. I have done all I could and needed to do. A specialist is here to handle the situation and help her. I just had to trust them. It wasn’t easy because my dearest is on the line. And there were moments again where negative thoughts broke through my defenses and invade my mind …. “What if Doc misjudged the anesthetics dosage” … “What if Stella stick her tongue out at the wrong moment when Doc is drilling” … “What if Stella cannot handle the pain and she makes drastic movements” … etc. It was real because there were moments where Stella did move her tongue and was warned off by Doc. Here’s what I apply to manage these medium-to-high level stress:

• Remind Myself That I Have Done My Best and The Best Is Handling The Situation
• Remind Myself That My Need To Feel Helpful Is Just A Self Comforting Need, I Don’t Really Need It
• Remind Myself That Negative Thoughts Now Will Negatively Affect The Mood Around Me
• Remind Myself That I Need To Lend Strength And Encouragement To Stella

The procedure took 45 minutes after which Stella’s fever went up and She wanted out due to the pain after completing the procedure on one tooth. We took a break, gave her paracetamol and I tried to talk her back to complete the procedure. She relented but during the wait, she fell asleep! It’s already 4.30pm in the afternoon, 6 hours since we arrive at the clinic.

During the wait for Stella’s turn, more “issues” crop up. I am not sure if Stella will want to complete the procedure now that she had a break and some time to contemplate what happened. For all I know, she may be having a nightmare right there. It was approaching the time where I had an appointment to fetch Karen (my other dearest) and I’m going to miss it. My mum who accompanied us to the clinic is as tired as I am, skipped lunched too and I feel apologetic to her and I still had my blog post which I have not posted today. This time round, maybe due to fatigue, maybe due to accumulated stress, the negative thoughts lingered longer and minor things are starting to become an issue. Fortunately, I still had some secret weapons in reserved. Here’s what I apply to manage these low-to-medium level stress in a fatigue state:

• Dismiss The Thoughts As Irrelevant
• Remind Myself That All These Issues Could Be Settled With A Good Explanation

Finally at 6pm, we went in for the last part of the procedure. Stella endured more pain and I endured more negative thoughts banishing them along the way and trying to think positively and succeeding towards the end. All in all, our dentist achieved most of the objective we set out in the first place except the source of causing the inflammation beneath the molar. We had to settle for treating it with antibiotic instead. Now Stella is already running around like the monkey girl she is right after the procedures not realizing how stressed up or hungry her dad and granny is.

It was only when I reach home that I realized that I had a slight headache, probably due to the combination of hunger and fighting stress. Was I really stressed out? Not really but there were real but managed stress. I would probably have a real bad headache if I did not know the skills which was applied consciously throughout the day. So I would say Stress Management does work for me and by sharing them here, I hope you could benefit from it and apply it whenever you feel the beginning of stress.

Love,
James

PS: Oh, by sharing all these in writing with all you readers, I actually got rid of my mild headache. So sharing does have positive effects

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