Visualized.Feel.Abundance

Hi Folks,

Are you surprised to find a big cartoon on top? Heh heh. It has been my dream since early last month (June) that I would be able to put up some cartoons myself to entertain my readers or simply to bring on some lighter moments. I tried my hand with some graphical cartoons a couple of post back with penguins using a kids drawing software! But it didn’t suit my style and seriously, I could not draw that well and I’m too lazy to learn (hah, I procrastinate too!).

But seriously, I wasn’t procrastinating but I had more important projects on hand and just couldn’t find the time to do it properly. But nonetheless, it was always on my mind every time I write a post. The last 2 days, including today and probably tomorrow, I was out with a throat infection and a bad cough, the medicine is knocking me out most of the time. But would you believe that what you saw up there was a dream I had when I was sleeping?

It’s true, I had a dream and it outlined how I could create a comic that was inline with what I know and the template is build around my current skill … that is, no drawing. The theme, Odds & Evens describes the 2 thoughts and beliefs and are characterize by their fonts …. Odd is hard, rigid and unwilling to believe while Even is soft, fluid and always ready to pursue a dream. I thought that it was perfect for me to describe the 2 schools of thoughts about Law of Attraction or generally about Positivity Thoughts.

I read somewhere where someone said that “Sleeping is the best form of Meditation”. I think there is truth in that statement but most people tend to forget what they dream of. I tend to remember. Karen remembers hers too, crystal clear. And we wonder if our Attraction Accelerator music or OptiMINDzation has anything to do with that? Dear readers who have the gotten the beta wave music, any similar experiences?

Do let me know if you like it and any suggestion on how I can improve will be welcome. I am really an amateur being a cartoonist.

Love,
James

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Hi Folks,

Since we started the series “9 Secret Steps To Life Transformation“, from time to time we will receive emails asking Karen or Myself questions pertaining to certain situations or asking for clarification on certain points we mentioned in our post.

We love all these emails and we response to each and everyone of them, sharing with them how we would handle the situation ourselves if we were in their shoes based on our own experience and our understanding of the Law of Attraction.

Then Karen suddenly said “Why not we share some of the questions and answers with our reader on our blog? The question is certainly relevant and our answers may benefit a lot of folks out there but we need to masked the name of the reader who is asking the question.”

“What an excellent idea!” I thought and here it is, our first “Share An Answer” Post. The question was asked after our reader read this post - “9 Secret Steps To Life Transformation: Karen Lim’s Abundance At Work” and here’s the question (published with readers permission):

“Hi Karen,

Was reading your recent blog about asking for help with project management and have some questions.

What do you do when you get negative or aggressive reactions when you ask people something, even though your questions are perfectly legitimate? I’m also interested in knowing your immediate Feelings when you get a negative reaction.

Hugs
xxxxxx”

And here is Karen’s reply:

“Hi xxxxxx

It all begins with our own thought.

If you are thinking negatively, you will perceive some one’s question/response to be negative. It is all about perception.

Even when I get very heated response from someone else (eg someone shouting at me), I will not response back negatively. This is the sure way to make the person cool down and may even get an apology for the behavior later. And I will accept his/her apology gracefully. That is my perception of life. Why get angry with someone and become sad/hurt yourself? Make no sense to me.

Well, I probably wouldn’t behave in such a COOL manner a few years back. I could do it now because my perception of life and people has changed. Whatever others may perceive, if it is positive, I like to enjoy their positivity. If their response is negative, I will ignore them and do not join in or participate in the negativity.

Cheers
Karen”

Most people feel distressed or helpless or victimized when they are abused verbally or faced with an aggressive person for no reason at all. They tend to think that they have attracted it to themselves. “What have I done to deserve this treatment? ” or “Why me again?” is always the first thing on their mind. So did they really attracted it in the first place?

Not necessary, you could have just caught the person in a foul mood exactly at the wrong moment. A classic case of being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

And what if you had attracted it! You always think “Will boss be mad at me today?” everyday, surely you WILL end up doing something to attract him at his worst moment!

But that beside the point. My point today is how you can handle it when you find yourself in that position whether intentionally or unintentionally. In all these cases, the best defense is stay calm and don’t overreact to the verbal abuse or aggressiveness. Any thing you say will likely be akin to adding fuel to fire and trigger more aggressive or abusive response.

Your lack of response may make him madder at first but trust me when I say he will get over it when he realized that he is acting like a clown or monkey in front of an unappreciative audience. And just like in Karen’s case, when the abuser realized that he was venting his anger on the wrong person, you may just get that sweet apology.

Your turn to talk: What do you think of this share an answer post? Does it benefit you? Is it OK for you as a reader? Do you have a question you are dying to ask us or get our opinion? You can comment here or sent your questions to karenlim88@gmail.com with the subject (Share An Answer) .

Love,
James

PS: If you do not wish your questions and answers to be publish at all, please do state so. It is our policy that we do not publish names under any circumstances unless explicitly instructed to do so.

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Hi Folks,

I know today I am late in my post and I could have published on of my pre-written articles or the new sharing series (it will now be published on Sunday) for today but I decided I would share my first hand experience in stress management today.

Today I had to visit the dentist and it took 8 hours from the time I step into the clinic till I got out and it wasn’t about my tooth. It was my daughter, she had a bad toothache plus a dose of fever due to the infection around the left bottom molar.

Since it was a last minute thing and we had no appointment, so we had to wait for an available slot. It was a 2 hour wait from 10.30am and I had to endure Stella’s nagging on when it’s her turn! I know she is irritated due to the pain in her tooth and a slight fever so I patiently explained the concept of appointment and that since we came without an appointment we had to wait. She said “OK but when is my turn?”

This is the beginning of my stress. I can take questions but I cannot stand nagging. Especially one that I cannot shut out quite that easily. So I quietly wish for our turn, so we can get the problem tooth extracted and done with it! Here’s what I apply to manage the low level stress:

• Regulate My Breathing
• Ignore The Irritation (Which means I ignore Stella’s complain!)

When it was her turn, the dentist gave a preliminary checkup and ask Stella to take an Mouth Cavity X-Ray. During the X-Ray, he explained that based on his experience, it is likely that there is tooth decay from within the molar. Maybe even 2 of them so it may be more complicated than a simple tooth extraction.

I thought “Oh Dear! Lets hope for the best!”. But now I had skipped my lunch and had to worry about the result of the X-Ray. It is at this moment that, negative thoughts invaded ….. “What if Stella needs to extract 2 teeth, can she handle the pain” … “Will it be to traumatizing for Stella” … “What if it cannot be extracted but need more complicated procedure” … etc. I guess you know where that is heading. I am frightening myself ….. fortunately for me, it lasted all of 3 minutes. After which I consciously banished the negative thoughts that is starting to frighten me. Here’s what I apply to manage these low-to-medium level stress:

• Regulate My Breathing
• Remind Myself That What I Think Will Not Alter The Results Now

The next time we saw the dentist was an hour later. That is when he confirmed that 2 of Stella’s teeth is decaying from the inside due to a penetration from between the side of the 2 teeth. I had to make a decision after consultation on whether I would like to

1. Extract one and patch up the other (Traumatic to the child but cleanest. However, cosmetic issues will arise later. This is a long story)
2. Just clean the in between (Not recommended as it is just delaying option 1 and 2)
3. Do a root canal procedure to settle the problem (Recommended as it preserves the 2 teeth and prevent any cosmetic issue. Less traumatic but the procedure is lengthly)

Here comes the headache and some moderate stress. I love this dentist, he always gives all the options and tells me everything I need to know. I hate this dentist, he never gives me a firm recommendation. But since I had accepted 100% responsibility of my life, I had to live with it. I chose option (3) after consulting with Stella. Oh, she’s 6 years old only but she decision making process is already like an adult.

After another 1 hour wait, it was Stella’s turn and I went in with her for the procedure. I can tell you this is where the REAL stress kicks in. To stand there watching holes drilled into her molars and getting the inside cleaned out. To hear the whines of the machinery, to hear squirms and cries from Stella due to the pain (yes, still rather painful even after local anesthetics, her gums were still partially inflamed), to see the tears running down her eyes, to see all that and all I could do was hold her hands and say “It’s all right Stella! You are a brave girl! Just a little while longer! Doctor is pulling the little worms out now!“.

It’s the helplessness, the inability to do anything to help that frustrates me and adds to the stress that was building up. I had to constantly remind myself that Stella is in good hands. I have done all I could and needed to do. A specialist is here to handle the situation and help her. I just had to trust them. It wasn’t easy because my dearest is on the line. And there were moments again where negative thoughts broke through my defenses and invade my mind …. “What if Doc misjudged the anesthetics dosage” … “What if Stella stick her tongue out at the wrong moment when Doc is drilling” … “What if Stella cannot handle the pain and she makes drastic movements” … etc. It was real because there were moments where Stella did move her tongue and was warned off by Doc. Here’s what I apply to manage these medium-to-high level stress:

• Remind Myself That I Have Done My Best and The Best Is Handling The Situation
• Remind Myself That My Need To Feel Helpful Is Just A Self Comforting Need, I Don’t Really Need It
• Remind Myself That Negative Thoughts Now Will Negatively Affect The Mood Around Me
• Remind Myself That I Need To Lend Strength And Encouragement To Stella

The procedure took 45 minutes after which Stella’s fever went up and She wanted out due to the pain after completing the procedure on one tooth. We took a break, gave her paracetamol and I tried to talk her back to complete the procedure. She relented but during the wait, she fell asleep! It’s already 4.30pm in the afternoon, 6 hours since we arrive at the clinic.

During the wait for Stella’s turn, more “issues” crop up. I am not sure if Stella will want to complete the procedure now that she had a break and some time to contemplate what happened. For all I know, she may be having a nightmare right there. It was approaching the time where I had an appointment to fetch Karen (my other dearest) and I’m going to miss it. My mum who accompanied us to the clinic is as tired as I am, skipped lunched too and I feel apologetic to her and I still had my blog post which I have not posted today. This time round, maybe due to fatigue, maybe due to accumulated stress, the negative thoughts lingered longer and minor things are starting to become an issue. Fortunately, I still had some secret weapons in reserved. Here’s what I apply to manage these low-to-medium level stress in a fatigue state:

• Dismiss The Thoughts As Irrelevant
• Remind Myself That All These Issues Could Be Settled With A Good Explanation

Finally at 6pm, we went in for the last part of the procedure. Stella endured more pain and I endured more negative thoughts banishing them along the way and trying to think positively and succeeding towards the end. All in all, our dentist achieved most of the objective we set out in the first place except the source of causing the inflammation beneath the molar. We had to settle for treating it with antibiotic instead. Now Stella is already running around like the monkey girl she is right after the procedures not realizing how stressed up or hungry her dad and granny is.

It was only when I reach home that I realized that I had a slight headache, probably due to the combination of hunger and fighting stress. Was I really stressed out? Not really but there were real but managed stress. I would probably have a real bad headache if I did not know the skills which was applied consciously throughout the day. So I would say Stress Management does work for me and by sharing them here, I hope you could benefit from it and apply it whenever you feel the beginning of stress.

Love,
James

PS: Oh, by sharing all these in writing with all you readers, I actually got rid of my mild headache. So sharing does have positive effects

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Hey Folks,

Welcome back! Today I will be sharing a speech given by Steve Jobs during the Commencement address at Stanford University in 2005. Click here for a transcript of the speech if you would rather read than watch.

Did you like it? I do and I learn 3 states of mindset that I have been using to counter the “noises” I mentioned in my last post. This is how I relate them:

The first story is about connecting the dots and I would like to bring your attention to this para:

“…you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them (the dots) looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in the future. You have to trust in something, your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road, will give you the confidence to follow your heart even if it leads you off the well worn path …”

Our journey in life is like playing the game “connecting the dot”. The difference between this and our childhood game is that there is no numbering of the dots! The dots are like you choices in life, which do you choose? When you lack the knowledge or skill to navigate the jumble of dots, which do you choose? I choose to do what Steve Jobs did in the beginning. I trust my feeling when I choose the next dot and I work towards acquiring the skills and knowledge necessary to make it happen. I trust that by doing all that I care to do, for what I want, that all the dots will be connected at the end.

In recent years, I developed the “Ladder of Dreams” which essentially “maps out the dots, looking backwards”. It puts the numbers back into the “connecting the dot” game. I have been using this technique with wonderful results and great success. If you have not read about it, you can do so here. Oh by the way, don’t throw Steve Jobs advice out of the window just yet. You still need to trust something to choose your “end dot” also know as “Your Dream” even if you choose to use the “Ladder of Dreams”.

I use this first mindset together with “Ladder of Dreams” to get rid of Road Blocks!

The second story is about love and loss and I would like to bring your attention to this para:

“Sometimes life gonna hit you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I am convince that the only thing that kept me going was that I love what I did … You’ve got to find what you love! That is as truth for work as it is for lovers. Your work is going to fill in a large part of your life and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do!”

It does not matter how well you plan your life and work your plan. It does not matter if you have the most positive mindset and attitude. It does not matter if you have not the slightest negative thought and you have always manifest and visualize only positive thing. Sometimes life will hit you in the head with a brick! Don’t Lose Faith!

Do not doubt if the Law of Attraction has malfunctioned. Do not doubt if you have somehow failed yourself. Do not doubt if someone is out to get you. Leave those aside, they ARE negative thoughts which will definitely attract negative events if they take hold. Instead view the event as natures way of shaping you up for bigger and better things in life. Pick yourself up and move forward.

I love the last part of this particular quote “And the only way to do great work is to love what you do!”. It matters that you love the things you do. It matters that you have passion in your belief. You love and passion will cushion any bricks flying your way and you will not give up without a fight! It does not matter if the negative thoughts comes as sudden as an avalanche or as consistent as a waterfall, you will be able to shrug it off like a prizefighter.

I use this second mindset to fight Negative Feedbacks!

The third story is about death and I would like to bring your attention to this para:

“If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today. And whenever the answer is been NO for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything, all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure. This things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly what is important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked, there is no reason not to follow your heart.”

Like I say in my last post, I have a weakness for distractions and I am still fighting it today. There are simply too many fun and attractive things to do. I would be perfectly happy doing them if not for the fact that they not only don’t help me achieve my dreams in life but they delay my dream indefinitely.

There was once were I would succumb to distractions every day and delay working my dream. Thankfully, those days are much much lesser now and the single most powerful thought is being describe by Steve Jobs in the quote “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?”. Ask yourself this question and answer it truthfully. Serious! You will be surprise to find yourself working your dream harder than you have ever been and working it on the longest stretch you could ever remember.

Nowadays, I hardly complete a game that I love or finish watching a TV serial. Sometimes I never even complete a movie! But I do finish my task I set out to do in order to move my goal forward. Even when I declare a day off, I still couldn’t keep myself from checking my progress on my goal.

I use this last mindset to dispel Distractions!

It’s a long post …. and I had originally intended for it to be a 3 part posting. It’s not everyday that I write a long post like this. But after re-writing it a couple of times, I decided to publish it in it’s entirety so that you can get the full picture of what I wanted to share with you.

Love,
James

PS: Do leave a comment if you like the post or think that it should be shorter. I love to hear your comments and sometimes when there is no comments. I thought I had gotten something wrong at my end. Ouch, negative thought!

PPS: I visited many blogs and I saw a lot of them saying “if you like us, you can help us by donating to support us“. Over here, we believed that if you like us, help us by getting a product here that can help you instead. Oh and do us a favor, clear your browser cache before you click on any product links.

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Hey Folks,

Welcome back to Free & Easy Monday! Last Monday, we published that we were giving away one copy of OptiMINDzation digital music free for last week (worth US$29.90)! There response was encouraging and after reviewing the emails on why our dear subscribers wished to have OptiMINDzation, we have decided that we will give 2 (TWO) copies instead of 1 (ONE)! And they are:

1) Lisa Quirke; and
2) Joan Jones

Congratulations and thank you for your participation!

Please check your email (if you have not done so), there are some directions to follow. Email us if you can’t find the email from us.

Thats all for today folks. Next week, I think we have something interesting coming up. So stay tune

Love & Hugs,
James & Karen

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