Visualized.Feel.Abundance

Hey Folks,

Welcome to Goal Setting Lesson Five.

What Position Do We Start From
Very often when we set goals that we dream about, it involves doing something that we have little or no competency in accomplishing. Hence, it is my opinion that most of the time, we begin our journey to our dream from a position of weakness.

That is the very reason why many people fail to take the first step after they set their goal. They could not even begin to do what they set out to do due to the lack of competency.

For those who manage to get started with their limited competency, most manage to turn around in circles after a while and give up their dreams in frustration.

So is there any solution?

In my opinion, it either your improve your competency or outsource the task that you need to get done (this not applicable in all cases).

Outsourcing
What are the cases that you can apply outsourcing? Here are some examples:

- Getting your household chores done with minimum intervention (don’t laugh, this is one of my dream)
- Designing the decor of your dream house
- Building and configuration your dream entertainment room
- Creation of a new product from your idea (for those online marketers reading this)
- Telemarketing effort for your business

Basically, anything that can do without YOU and has a ready professions or companies to take on the outsourcing. Outsourcing helps you move your goal forward tremendously, in terms of time saved and frustrations avoided.

If you should want to take on every task single handedly, be prepared for a longer journey but you might find more satisfaction and achievement at the end of the journey.

Do It Yourself
What are the cases that you cannot apply outsourcing?

- Becoming a world class athlete
- Becoming a Lawyer
- Becoming a Entrepreneur
- Becoming a Parent

Basically, anything that cannot do without YOU. In this case, your first action would be to improve your competency by taking on courses, training, studies, etc.

Typically dreams that cannot be outsourced requires time for you to gain competency. It could be shorten if you are smart, hardworking or an outright genius but short of those, stick to a more realistic dateline.

For example, I cannot expect myself to go from grade 1 to grade 10 pianist in 3 years when attaining grade 1 will takes 18 to 24 months for the average Joe. Well, unless you are Beethoven.

But It Can Be Done
What I would like you to take away from this post is to understand where you stand, your strength but mostly, your weakness. Choose your path to tackle your weakness and keep your expectation realistic. Work on your goals and dreams relentlessly and you will achieve it in due time.

And for those who had the competency and hence the strength to take on their dreams in the first place but never got started, I could not even begin to understand why?

Cheers
James

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Hey Folks,

I was reading a post by Armannd @ ProjectArmannd.com titled “Life essentials, kindergarten version” and he was sharing about the lessons he learned in Kindergarden. I love that post as it reminds us of some important lessons that we tend to forget in our adult life as we compete in our society for a better social or financial standing. Read it, I believe you will love it!

Kids And Their Goals
It also got me thinking about the relation between kids and goals. Do kids have goals and dreams?

I believed so. Although most of them never writes them down and even if they do write them down, it will probably be in a dairy expressing what they want and not done as a goal setting exercise.

I know a lot of their dreams are fairy tales and impractical stuffs like “Want to be [fill in their favorite superhero]” or “Want to be [fill in their favorite princess]” but they do have practical dreams, such as “Want to go to [fill in their favorite theme park]” or “Want to get [fill in their favorite toy]”. And you know what? Usually their dreams come true!

A Kids Unique Strength
So why is it that their dreams come true when they have never done any goal setting exercises such as we adults? I believed that it is because they have one quality that most adults lack:-

“Naiveness”

In their young minds, nothing is impossible. Being naive, they dare to try everything and anything. Being naive, they are not afraid to ask and pester their parents, uncles, aunties and, especially, grandparents for what they want. Being naive, they tell everyone their goals and dreams without any concern with regards to who knows about it - actually, the more people who knows about it, the better for them. Being naive, they do everything that adults won’t dream about doing and inevitably, someone from those above will fulfill their dreams.

So how does kiddish goals measure up to adult goals? Do they comply with S.M.A.R.T.? Lets See:

Specific - I know kids are very specific in what they want. They will point to that commercial on the TV and yell “That’s the one I want!” or drag you into the toy department, grab the toy they want and pull you right over to the cashier! Do you need them to be more specific?

Measurable - The only thing you really need to measure is whether you have sufficient cash in your wallet to buy whatever you were dragged into buying since you are standing at the cashier counter already.

Attainable - Since you will be the one standing at the cashier counter with the toy in one hand and your wallet in the other, I think you would be in a better position to tell me if it is attainable.

Realistic - The only realistic thing to consider is how are you going to get out of that situation if you decide not to buy it.

Time-Bound - The only concept that kids know about time is “NOW”. Nothing else matters, not yesterday, not tomorrow, only “NOW”!

So do you think little kids goals are S.M.A.R.T. enough?

Time For A Story
Let me finish this with a true story.

Once I brought my little girl Stella to Popular (a local chain of bookshop) and she wanted 3 books. I said “No, you can choose only one.” She didn’t argue and choose one book. I took the book and went about my browsing before making payment.

At the counter, the cashier totaled up the merchandise and billed me for 3 books! I asked her to clarify the total and she told me the total was for 3 books including 2 that a little girl passed to her while pointed to me and said “Daddy will pay”. I knew it was Stella as I recognized the 2 other books was Stella’s other choice so I asked her “which little girl”. She pointed to little Stella standing at the entrance of the bookshop smiling cheekily at me.

In the end, I gave in to her ingenuity and bought all 3 books for her.

I’m not sure if she had the goal in mind to get 3 books. Maybe she did, maybe she didn’t. But I believe actions speaks louder then words and so I believe that it must have been a goal she wanted in her little mind.

Cheers,
James

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Hey Folks,

Welcome To Goal Setting Lesson Four.

Now that you have understood the basic principles of goal setting, build your foundation and set your sights on that big dream, it’s time to move towards your goal. We don’t do it by quantum leaps, like one or two or even three huge steps, but a small step at a time.

Building A House
Think of working towards your dream like building a new house from scratch. The completed house is your big dream so what should your first step be? Get a blueprint of the house? Probably. Or maybe deciding on which location it should be built upon and acquiring that piece of land? As good a place to start as any.

Once you have done either of that, you need to get a permit to build the house (if it is necessary where you live) or buy the raw materials necessary to build it. Next you start laying the foundations, building the walls brick by brick and so on according to the blue print your acquired. As you can see, there is a process of multiple small steps to get you from nothing to that beautiful house you desired.

Building Your Dream
Similarly, in order to reach that big goal, that dream of yours, you need to know your process or plan and you will need to take on one small step at a time.

If your dream involves doing something someone has successfully achieved, you can seek those people out as mentors and get valuable advices that will help you reach your goal faster and in a smoother manner.

If your dream involves doing something no one else has done before, it will be more challenging but still achievable if you plan ahead and take it a step at a time.

Importance Of Small Steps
You keep hearing me repeat this phrase “taking it a step at a time” because it is important. Remember Goal Setting Lesson One where we start with simple task and goals? It’s the same, by breaking up a big goal into small ones, we make a tough goal look simple. That is the Key in taking small steps.

“Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.”
– Henry Ford

When facing big or tough goals, our mind induces that thought “How am I going to complete that!“. But when the same big or tough goal is broken down into simpler goals, our mind changes the thought into “That’s easy, I can do it!“.

A Garden With 50,000 Roses
If you enter a garden with 50,000 stalks of roses, your breath would be taken away immediately by it’s grandeur. It is by any standard a grand undertaking when it was done by one gardener.

Could the gardener have done it in one giant step by planting all 50,000 stalks, water them, care for them all at the same time? Unlikely. He will probably be exhausted just thinking about undertaking such a daunting task all at once.

A plan with a better chance of success would be to plant a stalk of rose a day and move on. It may take a longer time but you will get that garden at the end of the road. If you want it faster, maybe you can try planting 2 or 3 or 5 stalks a day. But 50,000 or 25,000, or 10,000 a day is definitely out of the question unless you have an army of gardeners.

I think you get the idea.

Reviewing Your Goal
So take some time to review that goal or dream that you have set. What’s your mind telling you when you read that dream/goal? Take some time and break it down into smaller goals. Now read those smaller goals again, what does your mind tell you this time? Can you do it now?

If you still can’t, break it down further.

If you can do it, what are you waiting for then? Go get it!

Cheers,
James

Disclaimer: I am not a gardener and that illustration about planting rose is for illustration purpose to bring a point across. Technically, I don’t know how to grow roses.

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Hey Folks,

We’re back from our holidays.

It was a 4 day 3 nights cruise to Penang (an island on the west coast of West Malaysia peninsula, near the Malaysia-Thailand border) and Phuket (an island on the west coast of Thailand, it was on of the place devastated by the 2004 Tsunami) on board the SuperStar Virgo Cruise Liner.

It’s was very fun and relaxing. We enjoyed lots of good food, quality time with my family and in-laws. As you folks know, I like to set goals for whatever I do. I did again for this holiday and my goals was:

“To make sure everyone enjoyed the trip”

Now you must be thinking, that goal does not comply to anything I have been teaching in my online lesson? It’s neither SMART nor Big! Am I contradicting myself? Not exactly.

Objectives - Very Short Term Goals
There are times where we set Big, Inspiring goals that are SMART and we put them in black and white. This type of goals are typically mid-term to long-term goals, not always the case but typically. Even short-term goals are typically a week to a month in duration.

But there are times where we set goals for the moment. Goals that are rather clear in idea but vague in execution (i.e. you know you want to enjoy but you are probably unsure of how you would be enjoying or what you would be enjoying). Some people refer to this type of goals as objectives. So I shall use the same term too

The truth is that everyone sets objectives (in their mind) but because this objective weren’t written down, most people loose sight of their objectives the moment they get into the action. If their action produced a result that matches their original objectives, they will be happy with their actions. But sometimes, the opposite happens and they will be unhappy with the result or the event itself.

Where Do People Set Objectives
They may set objectives when they:

- Go shopping
- Go on holiday
- Go for meals
- Go for a short study session
- Attend a Seminars
- Go for a show
- Exercise
- Do anything that may produce a result (which probably covers almost anything we do)

Have you ever been unhappy after doing any of those simple day-to-day activities above? Did you happen to end up doing something contradicting to what you started off wanting to do? I bet you do, sometimes I do too.

My Holiday As An Example
Let’s take my holiday as an example.

On this particular trip, we had 2 land excursions - one in Penang and one in Phuket. We could book a pre-planned excursion or go free and easy on our own. We decided to take their pre-planned shopping excursions for both locations.

On our shopping trip at Penang, we noticed that our girl Stella was not that excited and was grumbling towards the end of the 5 hour excursion. She said that it was all walking and not that exciting for her. It was true in a sense. I wasn’t all that excited myself. I looked around at the other kids in our group and sure enough, many were bored and some were already sleeping on their parents shoulders.

At the end of that excursion, I had to make a choice if we wanted to bring Stella along for the next excursion to Phuket as it would probably be more shopping, more walking and we are expecting spicy foods and lots of bargaining at Patong beach flea market. I had to asked myself honestly if she would enjoy such a trip and my answer is no. I asked her if she would enjoy such a trip and she said no.

So we made changes to our plan and placed her with the Cruise’s Child Care Centre for the duration of the excursion. That decision cost us a S$12 excursion ticket (it was non-refundable and we already purchased it) and an additional cost of S$72 for the stay at the Cruise’s Child Care Centre. But was it worth while? Definitely! She enjoyed herself hugely for the whole day and we had a memorable shopping spree at Patong Beach, Phuket!

On the excursion at Phuket, I saw some parents disciplining their kids who were kicking a fuss because they were bored and that probably ruin their mood on that trip for the rest of the day. I do not believed that those same people came on trip wanting to have a bad day. In all reasonable sense, they probably had the same objectives as myself. But what happened?

Remembering Your Objective And Be Flexible
I think the difference was that I remembered my objectives and was flexible enough to make changes to accommodate the situation. While those other parents either did not realize the situation they were in, did not remember their objectives or wasn’t flexible enough to make changes to cater to the changing situation. Probably a little of each factor.

It is interesting to note that there were a handful of children at the Cruise’s Child Care Centre for the duration of the excursion which means I am not alone in making that kind of arrangements. So there must have been other parents who knows their objectives well too

You Should Try It
Don’t just take my word for it, try it yourself. You will be surprised at how frequent you walk away being happier then before.

That’s all for today. There will be more post coming up and also stay tuned for Goal Setting Lesson Four.

Cheers,
James

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Hey Folks,

I’ll be away on a short holiday. Taking my family and my in-laws for a short cruise to Thailand and Malaysia along the Straits of Malacca. So don’t be surprise if you don’t find any post for the next 4 day, my lessons on goal setting will continue when I am back.

I’ll be enjoying my holiday and I hope you are all enjoying yourself too.

Stay Positive,
James

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